My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
