Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
