Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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