the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
