I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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