I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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