youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
