ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
