coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
