I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize