i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize