Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
