I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
