...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
