Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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