Who did Billy Mays play for?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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