i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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