The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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