I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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