Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
