I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
