Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
