well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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