I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we made out on top of his cat.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
