Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize