just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
