tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
