There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize