Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
