I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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