yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize