so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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