David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
