bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
