Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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