Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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