I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
