very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
