I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
