omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
