I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
