We won't sleep together?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
