careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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