i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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