Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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