Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
40s are totally the cure
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
