my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
