you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
