Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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