I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
