Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
