Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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