Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
