Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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