My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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