My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
