so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
